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Memory Care Frequently Asked Questions
While dementia is an umbrella term for different types or forms of dementia- no 2 dementias are the same. Everyone will be on their own dementia journey. What works for one may not work for another. Situations very from person to person on a dementia journey. To initiate a conversation about moving to memory care, prioritize a calm, supportive environment with a reassuring approach, using clear language and acknowledging their emotions. Use clear language and acknowledge their emotions. Begin by expressing your care and concern for your loved one’s well-being. Focus on the positive aspects of memory care, like the specialized care and activities available, while acknowledging their feelings and addressing their concerns. Involve family members in the discussion and explore care options together. Prepare them for the change, explain what to expect, and emphasize the benefits of the new environment. Utilize therapeutic fibbing as needed. Therapeutic fibbing is a form of lying, or bending the truth, to avoid increased agitation from a person with dementia.
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Choose the right time and place. Select a calm and familiar setting when they are feeling their best. Somewhere your loved one feels comfortable and secure, such as their home, and avoid public places or stressful situations. Anticipate questions and prepare clear, concise answers.
If appropriate, have another family member present to offer support and share the burden. If possible, have conversations with other family members who are also involved in your loved ones’ care. Begin by expressing your love and concern for their well-being, emphasizing that your decision is made of care and consideration for their needs.
Due to memory loss, you may need to repeat the conversation multiple times. Refraining from saying, “Don’t you remember?” or “We talked about this already.” Ask yourself – “Will they remember day to day the conversation from the day before?” If not, then it’s not a great idea to talk about it TOO far in advance as this can cause anxiety in the moment and it’s not worth the argument.
Listen carefully and attentively to their thoughts, concerns, fears, and feelings and offer reassurance. Emphasize that they will be loved and cared for, and that the new environment is a safe and supportive place.
Avoid overwhelming them with details or jargon as well as too many words.
Reassure them that they can still maintain their independence and participate in activities they enjoy. Reassure them that their safety and comfort are top priorities and that this decision is intended to enhance their quality of life.
Validate their concerns about leaving their home, losing independence, and separating from family.
Be transparent, honest and provide clear information about the move and the new environment. We don’t want to lie or make open ended promises that we can’t keep.
If possible, take them on a tour of the communities so they can see it, meet the team members and check out the activities. Discuss senior living alternatives to see what might best meet their needs.
Maintain a calm and soothing voice, even if you feel anxious.
If appropriate, use visual aids like photos of the facility or brochures.
Recognize that they may have difficulty processing the information. This transition may be challenging and be prepared to offer support and understanding.
Avoid dwelling on the past or speculating about the future.
Stay in contact with your loved one and reassure them with continued conversations surrounding the positives of moving to a memory care community.
Be available to answer questions and provide emotional support. Be flexible and willing to adjust your approach based on their individual needs.
Example phrases on how to approach and communicate with loved ones about moving to a memory care community. By approaching the conversation with empathy, understanding, and a positive attitude, you can help your loved one feel more comfortable and confident about moving to a memory care facility.
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“We’re going to a new apartment, a place where you can be with people who will provide you with proper care.”
“All the people here are kind, supportive, and give you dignity.
“This place is full of people who will care for you and do things I or we are unable to do. You will have delicious meals here!”
“They have a robust activities calendar. It is full and busy. I am looking forward to you making new friendships.”
“They will allow for pets to visit.”
